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Independent Financial Advisors in Leeds - Richardson & Wise Finance
As part of our service to our clients Richardson & Wise offer the following guide to dealing with bereavement:
WHAT IS GRIEF?
Grieving is a very personal experience for everyone. No one human can or should tell you how to grieve. Our aim here is to identify what you are feeling. Research shows that there are common emotions and stages of grief experienced by those left behind after bereavement. Working through the stages is believed to be the best way to eventually find a sense of peace and acceptance.
The Elizabeth Kubler-Ross 5 stages of grief are:
DENIAL |
Denial is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts, information, reality etc., relating to the situation concerned. It’s a defence mechanism and perfectly natural. Some people can become locked in this stage when dealing with a traumatic change that can be ignored. Death of course is not particularly easy to avoid or evade indefinitely. |
ANGER |
Anger can manifest in different ways. People dealing with emotional upset can be angry with themselves, and/or with others, especially those close to them. Knowing this helps keep detached and non-judgemental when experiencing the anger of someone who is very upset. |
BARGAINING |
Traditionally the bargaining stage for people facing death can involve attempting to bargain with whatever God the person believes in. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a compromise. Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable solution, especially if it’s a matter of life or death. |
DEPRESSION |
Also referred to as preparatory grieving. In a way it’s the dress rehearsal or the practice run for the ‘aftermath’ although this stage means different things depending on whom it involves. It’s a sort of acceptance with emotional attachment. It’s natural to feel sadness and regret, fear, uncertainty etc. It shows that the person has at least begun to accept the reality. |
ACCEPTANCE |
Again this stage definitely varies according to the person’s situation, although broadly it is an indication that there is some emotional detachment and objectivity. People dying can enter this stage a long time before the people they leave behind, who must necessarily pass through their own individual stages of dealing with the grief. |
We can clearly observe similar reactions with far less serious traumas than death and bereavement, such as by work redundancy, enforced relocation, crime and punishment, disability and injury, relationship break-up, financial despair and bankruptcy etc. The ‘grief cycle’ is actually a ‘change model’ for helping to understand and deal with (and counsel) personal reaction to trauma. It’s not just for death and dying.
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